Again..

wheel of life rotates and finally comes to a point which it actually has passed once..
and when that point is reached all you have is tears in eyes and once again a broken heart which is difficult to be fixed again..
all your dreams are again filled with the thoughts that were suppressed somewhere deep down..
your mind weaves the world where he was once yours..
he again starts running on your mind..
again sleepless nights..again wet pillow..
again sitting alone..again feeling lonely ..
only muzik heels the wounds..
but few songs open the wounds again..
again everything turns dull and dark..
again life seems monotonous..nothing is perfect..
everything  everybody seems wrong..
again you feel scared ..
again you feel weak..
your weakness overpowers your brain..
your weakness rules ova your heart again..
again night seems longer than the day...
even the darkest of night don't seems darker than the thoughts arising in the mind..
again the feeling of being insecure..again the feeling of pain..
again tears again shattered pieces of heart..
again you again he..
again broken trust..
again broken dreams..
love seems to b a pain..bcz the defination of lov for you was him...
again the feeling of being cheated..
again the feeling of being manipulated..
all the thoughts again running on your mind..
first it was you den him now again you..
life has again come to a point where it was left..
cant handle that pain again..
cant handle that tears again..
dunt want loneliness again..
dunt want broken dreams again..
already broken..
already faced this ..
already lived this life of fear..
trying to forget..dunt come back again and again...
not again ..
plz.. not again..

all i want..

When i was born the only thing i wanted was my mum dad n my family surrounding me always cuddling me loving me...
when i grew..my mum use to tell me  fairy tales...now i wanted to meet fairies and pixies,,
when i grew a little more i use to watch barbie movies ..now i wanted a prince just like the prince shown in the movie..with castle...and loving me the way i was..
i played kitchen set ..i played with barbies...i cooked invisible food...i made pony of my princess barbie..
my barbie movies turned into daily soap ...
then all i wanted a guy who loves me just like my mum loves me and protects me just like my dad protects me..
my daily soap turned into reality shows..then all i wanted was a guy who respects me and does not cheat or use me..
all the fairy tales dictated by my mum made no sense to me now..the world is not a fairy tale..its a harsh reality which we have to face on our own..
may be the guy i was searching and  always wanted was just my dream who existed in fairy tales..
but i truly wish...my fairy tale comes true..
and the guy i wanted comes into real existence from the fairy tales into my life..
who is a prince just like the barbie's prince..
n who treats me like his princess...

everything in a mess...

Everything crushing me bit by bit..
dunt know what m doing..
itz juz m not perfect like u..
u are perfect for anyone..
m totally broken..i cry..i shout...i'm weird..
i run away..m scared of people around me..
there are tons of thoughts on my mind..
dunt know which one to follow..
i cant afford to loose you..cant afford to hurt u..
but i guess i did what i dint wanted to..
u made me sml..i made u sad..
u fixed my broken heart ..
n in return i broke your heart..
u mended mine..
i shattered yours..
i dunt want u to leave me..
i dunt want to leave u..
my mind has become a jigsaw puzzle..
i just need to put the pieces in right place...
i dunt know what m doing..
but definitely hurting sumone for whom i care the most..
well whatever m doing..u still with me in it..
you can kip showing the smilys..but can still read your thoughts..
i hope u wont lose your trust in me..
i hope i wont lose you..
bcz i olwaz need u by my syd...
i hope u too need me...

u r perfect ..

Nothing in the world is perfect..
we all wait for the perfect moment..
we all wait for the perfect person..
but we don't realize the fact that nothing is perfect neither me neither you neither the world we live in...
we do mistakes we repent we cry..
until the day we come across a person who changes everything in our lives...
whose presence in our lives makes everything perfect..
whose presence in our lives make it worth living..
and whose presence gives a new meaning to our lives...
he converts our each single drop of tear into an everlasting smile..
he can make you smile even in your worst moods..
he can teach you how to live..
he can teach you how to smile..
he can teach you to forget all your pains...
maybe he is not perfect for others but he is perfect for you..
he makes u smile wen u cry..
he is olwayz there when u need him..
he can control your mood swings..
he can make u feel protected..
he can make you feel wanted..
u feel jealous when he pays more attention to someone else..
u feel sad when he is not around you..
u feel butterflies in your belly the moment he sees u...
u feel your whole world revolving around that person...
finally everything seems perfect..
every moment is perfect..
he is perfect juz because he is urz..frva urz...

Mr. Senior

juz listening to a song reminded me of sumthn..
sumthng which is difficult for me to digest or evn think..
going back through the memory lane i juz found there are thousands of memories which i share with u...
moments which make me smile ol the tym when they strike my mind..
a smiling face olwayz willing to help evryone arund...
whu makes ppl lyf easier by juz being part of their lives..
ever since u enterd  my lyf evrythn seemd perfct..
signing on documents..leading me towards the blocks..
or sitting in the ground waitng for the bus...
seems lyk juz happened yesterdae...
tellng me abt ppl place teachers n specially the world outsyd the campus...
it helpd me a lot bt stl i need ur help olwaz..
my trust in u grew stronger day by day n juz frndz becme bst frnz...
u use to solve ol my problems and plus ur advices..i olwayz tried my best to follow bt u knw the result ...
u olwayz stood by my side...
u olwayz knw wen my mood is off..dunt knw how u know ..magician ho kya...
wheter i cry or whether i m sad u were there for me olwayz..u nva left me alone...
u converted my tears into an everlasting smile...
n my sadness into joy...
u were never tired or irritated...
u stood with me, wd a sml..
dunt knw how wuld i hav survivd if u were not there ...
words fell short if i have to descrbe u...
my frst friend in d campus..Mr. Senior...
whu ppl say sir bt i say rabbit...
u r d most precious gift God has blessed me with...
i wanna treasure u my entire lyf...
thankew for being there olwayz..
dunt knw kya hoga mera aftr few months..
sesrly gonna miss u a lot...
no one wil b sittn in the cafetria waving to me..
or i wont b clng sum1 to meet me aftr the classes..
wont b pulling sum1 legs..wont b clng sum1's bff his bf...
maggie ki demand kisse karungi..no juice in d block...
laptop todne ki dhamki...dosa plaza me bethke taapna..
campus me ghumna..plus sir pe tapli..
n chuiyaaa kaun bolga...
gonna miss evrythn...
wish can reverse tym..
hope u wil b there olwayz...
bcz i need u olwyz...
b d same olwaz...

i wanna live...

21st December dated as the day when the world will end..but doom has already fallen on us..

if i am a girl it does not mean i can't survive..
if i am a girl it does not mean i can't breathe..
people worship me as goddess on one side...
and abuse me like trash on other side..
i am a mother..i give birth to you..
and u take life away from me..
i live my whole life for u..and u steal every moment of my life in just few fraction of seconds..
i m a friend..i make u smile..make u feel comfortable around me..wipe your tears.. 
and u make me loose my smile..u give me gift of tears...
i m a wife..i bind two families together with bond of love, care and respect..
and u shatter every bond and rip me apart..
i m a sister who prays for her brother long life ... tie the bond of love on his hand and feel secure and protected..
and u broke all my expectations and force me to stay my whole life in fear... 
i m a daughter..give you small small moments which you cherish for your lifetime..trust you , you will never let anything happen to me..
and u broke my trust.. wipe off all those memories and fill my mind with memories of pain and disgust ...
i m a girl not a thing to be used..
not a toy to be played with..
you just cant use me n throw..
i too want love , protection and respect..
i m not inferior to you...
stop being brutal.. i too have a life..
i m not a prey to be fed upon..
i too wanna live...

kyun..

Teri ikcha anusar waqt chalta h... 
Teri ikcha anusar insaan jeeta h marta h... 
Srishti ka har niyam har kanoon tune banaya h., 
Kan kan me tu basta h... 
Phir bhi insaan kyu din raat sisakta h... 
Kyu apni kismat ko rota h.. 
Agar har cheez teri ikcha anusar h toh kyu koi bada h kyu koi chota... 
Kyu koi mehlo me rehta h aur kyu koi dar dar bhatakta h... 
Kyu ksi ki har khawish puri krta h tu aur kyu koi khwash krne se bhi darta h... 
Kyu kisi ki jholi bhar dta h tu aur kyu kisi ko jholi h dena bhul jata h... 
Kyu kch bacho ki zindgi me h sb kch aur kyu kch ko lakdiyo ke sahare zindgi jeeni pdti h... 
Kyu kch logo ki duniya me rang bhar diye tune aur kyu kch ki ankho ke samne bas andhera h... 
Kyu kuch ki duniya me khushi h aur kyu kch ghum me doobe hue h... 
Agar sabki kismat likhta h tu, 
Toh kyu ksi ki zindgi me sab kch bhar deta h aur kyu kisi se sb kch cheen leta h tu....